Freedom Group Rules and Guidelines

  • Dual Relationships

    • It is recommended to avoid being in the same group with a close relation such as a father, mother, sibling, grandparent, and so on as events involving these relationships may need to be the topic of some of your sharing and their presence could prevent that from being appropriate. 

    • In the case of group involvement with individuals such as an employer, employee, co-worker, or other multifaceted relationships, the potential effects or complications of vulnerability upon everyday interaction should be discussed and considered before group begins. 

  • Maintain Confidentiality

    • Keep whatever is shared within the group to ensure an atmosphere of safety and openness. Information shared that is life threatening or causes me to be legally liable are exceptions to this rule. 

  • Lead with weakness

    • We lead with our weakness by disclosing and working on our own shortcomings. We avoid displaying our knowledge or insights - we choose to be real, not religious. 

    • We do not give advice, but rather speak from our own experience. 

  • Speak only for yourself

    • We don’t interrupt others, or challenge what others have shared. 

    • Each person is free to share his or her own experience without fear of judgment.

    • We avoid discussions that do not relate to the material that we are currently discussing. 

  • Refrain from “Cross Talk”

    • Cross talk occurs when two or more people engage in dialogue that excludes others.

    • Cross talk can also occur when one person interrupts another or by someone giving advice to another participant. 

  • Accept responsibility

    • We don’t get carried away analyzing what caused our behaviors or attitudes.

    • We avoid minimizing hurts by explaining them away, ignoring them, or avoiding them. 

    • We will slowly learn to work through pain we may have faced and we work through it in honesty, acceptance, and forgiveness. 

    • We are here to learn how to be responsible for all of our attitudes and actions. 

  • Appropriate discussion

    • The lack of vulgarity will offend no one. 

    • We avoid gossip. 

  • Healthy disclosure

    • Please be considerate of those who have not yet had a chance to share. Share concisely and stay on topic of how it relates to your experience. 

    • This is not a place to expound on others shortcomings, but rather to focus on our own experiences. 

  • Come to each meeting prepared and with a prayerful attitude

    • Before each meeting, read designated materials and complete any written exercises. 

    • Be on time.

    • Pray for guidance and a willingness to share openly and honestly. 

  • Recognize that the Holy Spirit is in charge

    • We gratefully acknowledge the Holy Spirit’s presence and pray for his guidance and direction. 

    • We recognize that God and not us, is the ultimate source of healing and revelation on this journey.

Understanding the Freedom Group Process

  • Admitting what happened

    • Admit the existence of persistent emotional pain 

    • Tell your story to selected safe people

    • Grieve your losses

  • Understanding what happened

    • Listen to your own story

    • See yourself in other people’s stories

    • Find out how the pain got there

    • Learn the names and characteristics of your pain

    • Discover the interaction of past events and present pain

  • Responding to what happened

    • Embrace the pain so that you can let it go. (“we must feel to heal”)

    • Identify destructive attitudes growing out of your pain

    • Identify compulsive and destructive behavior patterns growing out of your pain

  • Moving beyond what happened

    • Take responsibility for your choices

    • Develop an alarm system for the old, sick way of thinking

    • Learn ways to replace the old, sick thinking with healthy choices

    • Set personal boundaries

    • Reinforce new thinking and behavior through affirmations and positive feedback

    • Give yourself time to grow

    • Accept the fact that support will be needed for the long haul

    • Put forgiveness in the plan

Confidentiality

  • About Confidentiality - what it is and what it isn’t

    • Confidentiality relates only when someone shares something with you about THEMSELVES. Something personal. In this case, confidentiality is a must in order to create a safe environment where transparency can thrive. However, the goal of confidentiality is not to create a safe place for gossip and slander. 

  • Confidentiality Guidelines and Limitations

    • When someone tells you something about someone else there can be NO PROMISE OF CONFIDENTIALITY. In this situation, there is a danger that confidentiality can become a shield to allow gossip and slander to do damage to another person and to you. In that case confidentiality promotes :

      • Slander : It allows someone to slander another person without repercussion. 

      • Poison and division : It allows someone to poison your heart and mind toward another person and leaves you no recourse to discover if what was said is true or false. 

    • Therefore, if someone says they are going to tell you something in confidentiality, you should first say, “Is this something about you personally? If so, I will promise you confidentiality. If this is something about someone else, I cannot give you a promise of confidentiality.”

    • If you do not ask that question up front, and they do tell you something about someone else, you must then tell them, “Now that you have planted this information in my heart about that person, I must find out if it is true or not. I cannot risk having my heart poisoned toward that person. I must know if this is true or not.” The promise of confidentiality must not be allowed to promote evil and division. 

    • In the case of threat of harm to oneself or another person, the greater good of the protection of the involved individuals overrules confidentiality. Reporting in this case, must be channeled through the group leader to a higher authority. Group members should not take it upon themselves to report to someone outside of the group.

    • If an individual reveals that they have abused a minor child, confidentiality is overruled by the legal obligations to protect the child. In this case the obligation of reporting shall fall to the group leader to a higher authority. Group members should not take it upon themselves to report to someone outside of the group. 


  • Summary

    • Confidentiality is a valuable and essential principle, but the enemy can use it for destruction when it is applied in a wrong way. 

    • You cannot hear something negative about another person without having it impact your heart toward that person. 

    • Confidentiality is the iron-clad rule in a Freedom Group, but it must be used in the right way to protect the unity of the church body. It is the duty of the group member’s to understand what confidentiality is and isn’t, and it is the group facilitator’s job to protect against it being used wrongly.